Ebor Players vs Parish Council Darts Match

The FA Cup Final at Wembley; Centre Court Wimbledon for the All England Championship; the hallowed turf at Royal & Ancient at St Andrew’s. The thunder of horse’s hooves at Aintree for the Grand National. These are iconic venues paying host to sporting triumph and perhaps we should add another …The Ebor Inn!!!

Those ‘twin imposters’ of triumph and disaster were never more aptly displayed than at the Ebor Inn on Tuesday 11th February when the pub played host to yet another sporting duel, the annual darts match between the Ebor Players (EP) and the Parish Council (PC). Well we say Parish Council but at least this year they had the discretion to add the epithet ‘Select’ to their title thus widening their net for players.

These two finely matched teams squared off to each other over the best of nine legs. First up was Jo ‘Ooh Matron’ Bewley and ‘Chardonnay’ Chris Gajewicz representing the PC facing the combined might of Lisa ‘Chorus Girl’ Beadle and Di ‘The Eye’ Curran. A high scoring match that seemed to last forever before Lisa Beadle closed out the match and finishing on 14 and saving the wall and surrounding furniture from further damage!!… One nil to the Players.

Next was the Men’s Doubles with Ned ‘Marathon Man’ Curran joining Alistair ‘Wiggo’ Dunn for the Players whilst the Parish Council threw in a real live councillor in the form of Ian Jemison coupled with Joe (apparently so famous he didn’t need a surname although he was Julia’s boyfriend) The PC ran out winners in this closely fought match when Jemison threw a twelve to finish. One all!

Next up for the players was the dream team with a 100% record, Bev ‘The Bombshell’ Linfoot and David ‘The Steelman’ Rose. They had been paired with Pat ‘We are Leeds’ Thornton and Julia ‘My Boyfriend’s Joe’ Clifton (see above). This was a hard fought and tense match which could have gone any way. Had Rose held his nerve and thrown the twelve needed to see out the match, things would have been very different but Thornton shattered the 100% record of the Dream Team by finishing with a nerveless eight. .. Two – one to the Parish Council.

The Players threw on their captain next, ‘Handsome’ Liam Godfrey who also had a 100% record with the unenviable figures of played 5 lost 5!!! He was drawn against Ben ‘Boy Racer’ Jemison and it’s fair to say Godfrey never got out of first gear losing heavily to Jemison who coasted to victory. Three – one to the PC and Godfrey’s 100% record intact!!

The Players found some respite in the next match when Julia ‘Two Lines’ Sykes, doing a fairly passable imitation of Tessa Sanderson in her hey day, served up a defeat to Lisa ‘Burgess’ Thornton, almost demolishing the dartboard with it. Three -two… Could a comeback be on the cards?

We then had the Mixed Doubles of Councillor Gillian Clifton and Councillor Stewart Harrison. Two councillors on the same team!!!! A rare occurrence indeed!! They were set to take on Steve ‘The Boatman’ Poulter, carrying his own darts and making her debut Clare ‘Doc’ Pitchford. The good doc dished out some medicine to our two councillors who were looking decidedly sick as they lost. On the bright side Harrison like Godfrey retained his 100% record. Three all and you could cut the atmosphere with a spoon!

Another mixed doubles next with ‘Quiet’ Tracey Patrick coupled with Paul ‘Elvis’ Brook for the Players coming up against Cayley ‘I Wear the Trousers’ Godfrey and Tom ‘Traitor’ Davis. Davis’s soubriquet appeared well founded as he was resoundingly jeered throughout his match. This was like water off a duck’s back or possibly another part of its anatomy as Davis threw the final dart to give the PC a one point lead with two to play.

It was all to play for and the match hovered on a knife’s edge, Next to the oche for the players was ‘Oirish’ Matt Taylor against Michael ‘O’Dale. What followed was the greatest mismatch since David offered Goliath ‘outside’. Taylor never got going with Dale running out an easy and with it the Trophy and the spoils.

After that, the final match between ‘Sparky’ Dave King and making his second appearance of the night Ben ‘Boy Racer’ Jemison was something of an anti climax but King was an easy winner as Jemison ran out of gas.

So after a well fought contest, the Parish Council took the match and the trophy by five games to four.

Both teams thanked the Ebor Inn and their genial host Gordon for a fabulous evening as the Ebor Players drowned their sorrows they forswore revenge in the annual cricket match to be held in summer. Another epic contest to watch out for!!

Leave a Reply

Your e-mail address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.